Love is not just a verb, it’s you looking in the mirror
🎶Poetic Justice
Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks even on the house he’s never visited. You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona, but not nearly so arid. Don’t wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes, your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them. You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic. Make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. Place it on whatever altar you fashion with a knife and five cranberries. Don’t lose too much weight. Stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. And you are not stupid. You loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canvas. Heart leaking something so strong they can smell it in the street.
http://After a While by Veronica A. Shoffstal
After a while you learn The subtle difference between Holding a hand and chaining a soul And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And company doesn’t always mean security. And you begin to learn That kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes ahead With the grace of a woman Not the grief of a child And you learn To build all your roads on today Because tomorrow’s ground is Too uncertain for plans And futures have a way Of falling down in mid flight After a while you learn That even sunshine burns if you get too much So you plant your own garden And decorate your own soul Instead of waiting For someone to bring you flowers And you learn That you really can endure That you are really strong And you really do have worth And you learn and you learn With every good bye you learn.
(Source: miastral)
I used to make long speeches to you after you left. I used to talk to you all the time, even though I was alone. I walked around for months talking to you. Now I don’t know what to say. It was easier when I just imagined you. I even imagined you talking back to me. We’d have long conversations, the two of us. It was almost like you were there. I could hear you, I could see you, smell you. I could hear your voice.
I live for moments where I feel infinite, each second gliding into the perfect time and space for that intensely fleeting, yet completely encompassing breath of life. To feel everything in your soul, to be completely alive..as if that moment was all you ever needed.
